Day 153: May the Fourth

Be with you? Sorry just had to get it out of my system.

Hey what is up fam, my name is Ray and welcome back to another blog post. May 4, 2017.

Gimme a few to update this!

I’m not feeling the best at the moment so sorry if this post goes downhill real quick. Just a warning :^) And to reassure people, I’m fine 😉 I’m always fine..

Ok so I woke up late this morning because I was studying late last night like a good boy. Except, I must have fell asleep studying because I woke up on my Physics textbook lol. I also didn’t set myself any alarms, which was why I woke up late. Not sure if dedication or just plain old stupidity. Whatever, doesn’t really matter.

I had like two assessments back to back today. Yay cool, whatever. I’m so done with life that I don’t even care how well I do anymore.

The first one was this math quiz. I thought it was pretty light. Maybe I got everything wrong, who knows. I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyways, that’s not important either because the highlight of my day was this blue bottle of Windex sitting next to me and all I thought about was what would happen if I drank that Windex. Fucked up? Yeah I know. At one point in class, I reach for the Windex and then stopped myself because what if Mrs. Sui asks me what the fuck I was doing with a bottle of Windex. I can’t just tell her it’s for a science experiment lol. I just kept staring at the bottle, thinking.. I hope you don’t think about this too 🙂 cause if you do, you might need some help.

Then after math I had a physics test… in the lunchroom! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I LOVE TAKING TEST IN THE MOST TOXIC ENVIRONMENT AT SCHOOL!!!!! GIVE ME THAT NOISY AS FUCK LUNCHROOM PLEASE :^) The test wasn’t that hard because your boy studied a lot (not at all) last night. Your boy was only worried about 1 or 2 questions. I’m aiming for a high A. I wish the questions didn’t also include a fucking hieroglyphs section. Like I’m just trying to solve the question, I don’t want to try and decipher what the question actually means or shit..   Why you gotta word them so awkwardly? I don’t understand.

I got my Spanish test back. I got a B, which I’m pretty proud of because I thought I failed lol.

The rest of the school day was irrelevant.

Today I had an interview which I completely failed lol. The interviewer was really nice (and cute (wait, am I even allowed to say that lol. I have no idea how old she is..)). Too bad I dropped the ball. There is no way I’m getting this job unless some miracle happens. Unless she sees something in me that I don’t see, I’m not getting it lol. I was ill prepared, my fault right. You know what I hate? I know the responses to these questions, but as soon as I open my mouth, everything just goes wrong lol. I lose my train of thought or what answer I had before. Unfortunate.. better start looking for other things I guess. Maybe there is hope…

I’m my greatest disappointment and the bane of my existence is my life. In other words, I hate myself and want to die.

Like I said earlier, not really feeling that well. Not sick or anything, but just feeling like trash lol. Maybe it has to do with the interview, but I don’t really know. That’s just one interview, I live and I learn to be more prep for the next one. I don’t know, I just feel upset lol.

I took an hour nap earlier and I just didn’t want to get up. I kind of laid there in bed thinking. I didn’t want to wake up. Just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again.

You know, sometimes I like up to the title of this blog. A friend asked me if I could be any object, what object would I be? Simple. I would be a depressed cloud drifting through the sky. I wouldn’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing, but all I know is that I’m moving along.

What exactly is a depressed cloud? Well, it’s not a happy cloud.

I have my APUSH test tomorrow.

I want to die.

Ayudame por favor. Yo quiero matarme. Necesito su asistencia…


I don’t want to end on a sad note, but there’s nothing happy to say. Nothing good happened today. It’s just a series of unfortunate events. I’m really sick of everything.

I know, I complain a lot. Whatever.

I hope you had the best day of your life.

-ray

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