Day 60: Catch 22

On the 30th day of January my lover gave to me: sleep deprivation 😦

Hey what is up fam, my name is Ray and welcome to another blog post! January 30, 2017. I forgot to say on Chinese New Year it was the Year of the Cock xdxd. I’m so immature 🙂

Today was a horrible day haha! Surprise, surprise! It’s a Monday, so I didn’t know what I was expecting. I was up doing my cemetery project from 10:30 am yesterday (sunday) to 3 am this morning. Then reviewing our entire project took another hours. Then I had to keep the person who was printing company. We finished printing at 5:30 am and by that time it was like why even bother going to sleep. So I didn’t. Like a dumbass. I could have maybe gotten one hour of sleep but I chose not too. I was trying to read my English book since I had a quiz today but that didn’t work out too well either. I kept reading the same page over and over again. So yeah, I made the wrong decision 😦

On the bright side, CEMETERY IS OVER (sort of) and I’m surprisingly not sick from overworking + 0 sleep (like someone else I know rip)! Still have the website to do but that’s just basically recycling information and making it look pretty. On the not so bright side, I’m still frustrated at Yibin and his trash work ethics. Unbelievable in the worst ways possible. Forging hours, plagiarizing and clearly hasn’t been looking at anything. I’m going to restrain myself right now, save it for the weekend. It frustrates me that I can’t do anything about it really without looking suspicious myself/making my group look sus. SIGH! DO. NOT. WORK. WITH. THIS. KID.

Catch me on February 20, 2017 writing this 5 page essay about why I’m unhealthily salty.

But Ray it’s just one stupid project, get over it!
Hey, kindly shut the fuck up 😉 It’s honestly the most frustrated thing I had to deal with and I hope you don’t have to work with him or anyone like him in your life time.
Stay classy 🙂

Then something else that annoyed me just as much as Yibin was my math teacher.

“HEY GUYS I LOVE MATH AND YOU GUYS SHOULD LOVE MATH TOO! AND IF YOU DON’T, IT’S BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SNOBBY PRIVILEGED STUDENTS WHO TAKE YOUR EDUCATION FOR GRANTED! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW…”

Honestly, that’s just a lot to put up with in the morning every day. I came here to learn.. just kidding. This morning I fell asleep in her class and she kept telling me to get water, which I probably should have since I created a larger scene than I wanted to.

Anyways today she was really into theories and she was like: I LOVE THEORIES AND YOU SHOULD LOVE THEORIES TOO OR ELSE YOUR AN UNGRATEFUL ———–.


Sigh.

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing besides the things I can complain about. Honestly, what is the purpose of my existence? I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here.

Do you ever snap? Or get sick of slamming the same old white door because you just can’t deal with people? Because people just don’t understand. Do you ever get sick of seeing the same old faces? The same old words repeated over and over again.

Do you ever feel like giving up? Like no matter how hard you try, you’ll never make it. No matter how much you try, no one will ever be happy. Do you ever want to be left alone and cry in a corner?

Cause I do.
Always.

But I realize nothing changes.

-Ray, the one and only sunflower~

 

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