Day 48: Failing Midterms Day 2

On the 18th day of New Years my lover gave to me: confidence… Just kidding! I wish though, could use some confidence right about now. My life is going downhill and it’s not looking too good.

Hey what is up fam, my name is Ray and welcome back to another daily nightly blog post of the day. January 18, 2017.

Someone commented on my Invitation post that I must of been a therapist. Ha… ha… ha… that’s actually pretty funny and pretty ironic. I’m probably the one who needs a therapist to be honest. ^_^ It would be nice to have someone tell me everything will be okay even though my life is falling apart.

Ahh, midterm day 2. You know what I love more than just failing 2 midterms? Falling 4 midterms. Tragedy everywhere. Tragedy never ends. Today I had math and English midterms. Had math first. The proctor wasted 14 minutes doing literally nothing but wasting our time. 14 FUCKING minutes doing absolutely nothing. What a joke. The test itself was okay until I got to the graphs and I was like ??? How do you graph these things… Feels bad. I also fucked up the tan graph and the cot graph. 😦 ALSO I JUST REMEMBER THAT THERE WAS A QUESTION THAT WASN’T ON THE SCANTRON AND I’M SUPER WORRIED THAT AS I WAS RUSHING TO PUT ANSWERS, I DIDN’T LOOK CAREFULLY ENOUGH AND PUT THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION ON THE SCANTRON AND FUCK EVERYTHING UP! OMG! I’M SO FUCKING STRESSED AHHHHHHHHHHHH…

Then there was English. Had to interpret some literary criticism and answer the questions the way the authors would answer the questions and use quotes to support the argument. I think I broke my hand trying to write that midterm. During the middle of the test, some sort of random liquid started flooding into our room and like I was literally right next to it and if it wasn’t for my classmates, my backpack would have been soaked in mysterious liquid.

Failing two midterms obviously made me super sad and depressed, again. Again, why am I so dumb. I’m beyond dumb. I’m such a let down. I’m just a disappointment. I wish I could be more. You know, it becomes very demotivating when you try superhard but never get any results.

Anyways I came home and my parents were all like why do you look so sad. I didn’t want to tell them  I just failed midterms so I didn’t bother answering. Then I started to cry in my room. I know, crying over midterms. What a loser. I don’t know. I just feel dumb and bad and bad and dumb. I’m stupid. I’m worried about my grades. I tried hard to get my 95s and now they’re all going to go bye bye because I’m not good enough to take these stupid goddamn pointless unnecessarily stressful test.

I cried myself to sleep. Some how I got tired and was just like, ‘ehh fuck it. might as well fail 5/5″ and took a nap. I slept for about 1 hour and 30 minutes. Woke up to my phone ringing. Lol it’s 2017 and people still call each other. Anyways, my friend called me and told me that she and her friends where outside and they had candy. At first I thought I was being pranked because these people live like miles away and I literally just woke up, but as soon as candy was mention, I went downstairs, peaked out the window and what do you know, there they where. I got my candy, that’s all that matters. It was so good candy too! Almond Roca ~ Thanks ^_^ I feel bad for people who can’t have chocolate, taste so good and makes you feel good sort of even when you feel like shit.

Then I “started” to study for physics. By started to study, I mean I realized that I’m a failure in life and I’m just going to have to live with that.

I’m so screwed. You don’t know how screwed I am. Maybe you do. Literally everything is going wrong 😦 I’m worried I’m not going to have As this quarter and that’s a big no no!


(Not so silly but relatable) Quote of the Day:
Studying for physics = why bother I’m gonna fail anyways. My physics teacher and physics class on the other hand is pretty fun ^_^ It’s quite entertaining with my boy Lincoln~ Every day is a fiesta day!

-Ray, the one and only depressed sunflower~



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