Day 16: Tilted

On the sixteenth day of Christmas my lover gave to me: a santa hat. Jk, I bought it myself… I don’t have a lover 😦

Hey what is up fam, my name is Ray and welcome back to the “I’m tilted and frustrated but probably won’t do anything about it besides bitch  about it” post of the day!

Today was so much colder than yesterday. I didn’t feel like getting out of bed today, well that’s every day but today I just keep snoozing my alarm. Too cold to get up. I wished it snowed over night 😦 Never lucky. Anyways I was in a rush and grabbed the wrong coat lol. Slightly less warm, first world problems.

The day was mundane. Nothing interesting happened. Same old Friday, get myself through the day and then rush home and not worry about school for a couple of hours. Except today I went to Starbucks. Got myself a Caramel Brulee Latte. Caramel is the best coffee flavor. It was a nice handwarmer too! Hot drinks go with cold days like how I  go with wanting to kill myself! Perfect fit. Something odd though, I get really sleepy right after I drink Starbucks. Happens with Monster too. It’s like 10 minutes after drinking, I’m like dead tired.

I’m literally dead right now. Not sure what to write about.

Had Jasmine Green Tea during Tea Party today. Green tea is way too weak, how do people drink that stuff. Tastes all weird. Black tea is definitely better, 100%.

During Tea Party my friend Rebecca tried to sound/impersonate me and well here’s some easy steps on how to look, act and sound just like me!

  1. Resting kill myself face/resting bitch face (this one shouldn’t be so hard 😉 it was a joke don’t kill me)
  2. No friends/lonely (now this ones a bit harder)
  3. Nonchalantly say “Feels bad” to everything (ex: failed your test? Feels bad. your cat just died? Feels bad. You want to name a pet fat bird Air Potato? Feels question. You want to kill yourself? me too.)
  4. Constantly mention you want to kill yourself!
  5. “HEY THERE, RAY HERE AND WELCOME BACK TO VIDEO”

Yeah that’s about it, easy stuff. I don’t know why you would want to be me though. I’m not interesting or fun or happy or productive or nice. Don’t be me. Be better than me. I’m literally just a whiny bitch who complains about everything, except I keep it to myself (LUL, most of the time) or complain to people who probably don’t care. I joke about wanting to kill myself and yet sometimes I actually do, but I can’t. I don’t like myself, I don’t know why. Life would be easier if I could just appreciate myself a bit more and realize that I’m not as bad as I think I am and that it isn’t as bad as it seems, but I just can’t. I already hate myself and everything I do, it’s too late for that. Wow I’m so dramatic. I’m sorry, just ignore me. I don’t make any sense.

You know I was going to write about being tilted from playing league, but I’m not in the mood. I’m sorry. I’m surprised I made it this far.

-Ray, the wilted petal-less sunflower~

 

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