Day 12: Realization

On the twelfth day of Christmas my lover gave to me: a false sense of reality

Hey what is up fam, my name is Ray and welcome back to the “Man I Really Fucked Up This Time” time log memo.

Mondays. I hate Mondays. Mondays are the definition of shitty days. Nothing ever good comes from a Monday. It’s the start of a new school week. Gotta wake up early just to drag yourself to school. Mondays suck. This Monday wasn’t really any different. It sucked, a lot.

Today started out rough. Once again, I managed to miss my alarms and woke up sorta late. It was a good thing at least one of my alarms rang or else I would of been donezo. It was raining really hard this morning and while I do like me some rain, I really hate waiting outside for the bus in the rain. That’s sucks. Not to mention, I couldn’t find my umbrella so I had to use another umbrella that I really didn’t like >.<

Then I got to school and all my peeps were like: “HEY WHAT CHU GET ON PSAT!!!!!” And I already knew I failed so I really didn’t want to check but I checked anyways and holy shit did I fuck up. I did pretty bad, not worst than last year but still pretty bad. Enough to not talk about it. All my friends be talking about their relatively high scores and I’m just like: … umm where can I find some good quality rope?

Then I realized how much I sucked. I suck a lot. So much. Holy shit. Why am I so stupid :(! But then again, I barely even tried on this. So it was the very little basic knowledge I had. But that’s just an excuse, regardless I still sucked ass. Sometimes I wish I was smart like my friends. I study but I just don’t get it as quickly and thoroughly as they do. It frustrates me. It’s like I’m putting in the effort but not getting the results I want.

I have to do better next time. On the SATs, the test that really counts. I must do better, a lot better. 1500 or bust. Seriously, if I don’t do well on the SATs, well good bye world 😉 You’ll know why if you never see me ever again. I decided that I’ll take it in March. Taking it in January doesn’t seem like the best choice. Still going to study though. Must study hard. Must get good grade. Sigh. I don’t want to look for good quality rope…

Then there was the Spanish test. Geeeeeezzzzzz. I studied for this. I even wrote 4 pages of notes for this. It started out pretty well and then welp, it went down hill. It went from easy to hard super quick, like 0-100 quick. The writing section was super husky. I didn’t really know what the prompt was saying, so I just bsed some subjunctive and commands into it. I’d be amazed if I actually did well. I mean I didn’t think I did too bad, but the final writing piece, which was like an entire page with lines, was worth 20 points. 20 POINTS! GG! Funny thing happened during the test. So we were taking our test when all the sudden a loud ass boom shook the room. It was so loud and so sudden, I got scared lol. It distracted like 5 minutes of my time. Rip rip. There was like only 10 minutes left and I wasn’t even at the final page yet. Then 7 minutes and I just started BSing the best BS I could think of. Kind of felt bad for my friend Vivvy. So was anxious since the beginning of the period. Once she walked into class, she seemed so nervous. Then when we only had a couple minutes left, she was scrambling to get down. Hopefully she did well. Oh, who am I kidding, so probably did better than me. I suck at Spanish.

I just literally spent the last hour commenting on a Facebook photo that was 2 years old with a bunch of other friends. It was a weird photo with us in front of a pink bunny. I looked high as fuck lol. It fun to meme 2 year old photos! I used to take a lot of photos, but I stopped since it was kind of weird. Sometimes I miss the simpler times. Like when people had black hair ^_^ Lol, nothing wrong with their dyed hair though, that looks nice too. But like for some reason 3 girls decided to change their hair color to red/brownish. Oh well, no judging, no shit talking.

Sometimes I’m afraid to state my opinion on things because it might sound like I’m shit talking people or insensitive towards something. Especially with people who are super judgmental/sensitive. Like I realize, I make it a lot easier for people to hate me than I do for them to like me. I don’t need that.

Well, I’m done for now. T+T

-Ray, the one and only shit talking sunflower~


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