Day 7: Congratulations

On the seventh day of Christmas my lover gave to me: some advice that would of helped me if I wasn’t already fucked up ^_^

Hey what is up fam, my name is Ray and welcome back to another post. I’m just going to tell you now, the title has nothing to do with the post, just Day 7 is a kpop group and congratulations is one of their songs and it’s the seventh day that’s all!

Today, like any other day, was a sad sad day. Not as sad, but still sad. Actually not much happened today. I literally can’t remember anything. Rip

Okay so last night, I spent the entire night writing my Exploratory Essay for Catcher in the Rye and today in class my teacher looked over it. I was hoping I did well enough that I didn’t have to change much, but I suck at writing so I got roasted. Lightly. Lol I hate it when people are like: it’s okay, but here’s what I would change. Like just tell me it sucks and tell me what I should fix. No need to sugarcoat stuff. This also applies to other things, like friends. Kinda sorta related: If you have a problem with me, don’t pretend like you’re 100% fine with me. Tell me you have a problem. That way I know and maybe we could work to fix our issue or just acknowledge that we don’t like each other. Simple. Actually that’s not related at all to English. What I’m trying to say is: Just tell me what I did wrong and tell me how to fix it in the most simplest way possible.

So earlier today, I had a conversation with my friend on the bus as we were going home. And what better way to start a conversation than the obligatory “HEY, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?!” Seriously, I don’t know how else to talk to people. Hi and hello are just too boring. “Hi!” “hi.” End of conversation, feels bad.

Lol I just enjoy talking to people sometimes. I remembered I used to talk to people daily during 6-8th grade. Those were some good times. I don’t even remember how we keep the conversation interesting, but we did. But with each and every person I used to talk to daily, it just stopped at one point. The other person just stopped replying and I figured oh okay, probably shouldn’t force a conversation and eventually everything died. It was kind of sad because I really didn’t talk to these people in real life and they all seemed like cool people. I miss those times. Especially 8th grade. I think I had the most fun in 8th grade ^_^! Got to talk to the girl I liked every day. Then at the end of the year I told her in the corniest way possible LOL. I’m such a loser 😦 😦 😦 😦

Anywayssssssssss, we talked and since we were “good students,” we ended up talking about school. School is such a sad subject to talk about. 😦 It’s the never ending cycle. Wake up, go to school, come home do homework rinse and repeat. Not only that, I don’t remember school being this stressful before. What happen to the good old days 😦 No one really understands the struggle of school besides other students. Parents be like: GET GOOD GRADES OR I KICK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE and you be like: okay fam. So then you stay up late, study, try your best and still don’t get places and stress over it they be like: Why are you so stressed??? I don’t fam, you ask me!

And then there’s college. GG. Worrying about college, worrying about getting into a good one, worrying about SATs, worrying about my major. Too much things to worry about and all of that shit happens in less than 1.5 years. AND I’M ALREADY STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW! Sigh. I don’t even know what I want to be when I grow up. At least my friend knows what she wants to do. I have no idea.

Sigh. I feel like I complain too much. This is probably why I don’t talk to people anymore. They would probably find me annoy. I’m certain. Which is why, I just keep everything to myself most of the time, fake a smile and pretend like everything is okay (minus the smile part).

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so pessimistic. I honest have no idea how the hell I turned out this way. Seriously, believe it or not I used to be a pretty happy go lucky kid back then who really didn’t care or worry too much of anything. I wasn’t always like this. Hmmm. Don’t be sad, it’s not fun. Try your hardest to make yourself happy! As for me, that shit doesn’t work 😦 I tried everything.

Okay, I got this physics test coming up tomorrow on work and energy so I should probably study for that. Goodbye peeps! Hope your life is pretty cool! To end on a positive note: Whenever you’re feeling down and lonely and feel like no one cares, just remember… the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and it will always be there for you! 😉

-Ray, the one and only sunflower~

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