Day 2: SAT PREP BOOK OF HELL

On the second day of Christmas my lover gave to me: a huge SAT prep book yay!

Hey what is up fam, my name is Ray and welcome back to another blog post. Haha I almost forgot that I was trying to do daily post… and I just started yesterday. This is going to go so well… rip.

Anyways, today I got myself a huge ass SAT prep book because I gotta take the SATs soon and I gotta study for it. Gotta force myself to study! Must get at least 1500! Anything in 1500 range and I will be golden. But I doubt it. Some people spent 4k on prep but scored lower than 1500 soooooo what are my chances? Who knows, I just need to be lucky. Of course I’m gonna try super hard and study. Gotta get that good score to get into a good college ^_^ If I manage to get a 1500-1600, I will do something stupid like eat dog food or maybe poor milk first when eating cereal. I don’t know. I’m just keen on getting that 1500. I mean 1600 is just impossible. Must study hard! STUDY HARD!

Speaking about college, I don’t even know what I want to major in. I tell myself that I want to be a computer science major but do I really want to do that? Who knows, coding and shit. I kinda want to become a short film maker too, those seem really cool. Like the short movies will the deep messages, haha. Thinking about college stresses me out. It’s so close, I can’t believe it. Literally only 1.5 years away from now. I’m going to miss all my friends 😦 and I’ll have to make new ones. Making friends is hard, I don’t even know how I managed to do it the first time. Sigh, first world struggles, feels bad man.

Speaking about struggles, today I struggled in English class. We have to do this writing workshop where we have a write about different topics and this quarter’s topic is personal essay. So I walk into class with 3 ideas I bsed yesterday at 1am and I’m just sitting there like, huh how the fuck do I even start with these ideas? Personal essays are such a struggle. I don’t have anything that is personal. Nothing personal ever happens and the moments that I do recall are usually bad memories or memories that I want to forget. Like there’s no good personal story to tell. So I was just sitting there with a blank screen and my teacher comes over and she gives me this look like: Ray what the fuck are you doing? I asked you to come up with one paragraph from an idea and you have literally nothing on your screen. Get your shit together! Feels bad. I still don’t know what to write about. My friend tried to convince me to write about my YouTube channel. Overall it seems like a pretty good idea, I mean I can definitely tell a story using my YouTube channel. I can also BS a theme like: Find yourself, be yourself, let your voice be heard and don’t care about what other’s think of you, or some shit like that. But there’s a huge downside. What I’m like in my videos is completely different from what I’m like to a teacher. It goes from 0-100 real quick. Who my teacher thinks I am would be ruin. Lol, she’ll find out how horrible of a person I am and how toxic I am and how suicide I am and how mean and stuff. Rip rip. What to do, what to do.

Okay moving on to something strange that happen today. For some reason my physics teacher decided to give me and my lab partner 2 extra points on our lab, making it 30/28. I go ask other people and they didn’t seem to get over a 28. Super strange. What’s up with that? Maybe it’s just a super good lab, haha. I get my quiz back that I took yesterday, got 2 questions partially wrong but they weren’t marked wrong… Huh, wtf. On a quiz I took last week, I answered a question incorrectly, but it wasn’t marked wrong at all either. O__O! I’m so confused why my physics teacher keeps giving me free points. It’s super strange. I mean I don’t mind ^_^ but it seems very strange. Is this what favoritism is?

Okay one last thing, I need to be less blunt towards people. So today some friends wanted to get bubble tea and they asked me to go and I was like: nah fam I gotta get this husky SAT book and they were like, but your best friend is coming and I was like: so, why do I care? And I realize now that the tone I said it in was super harsh and mean and made it seem like I didn’t care about my friends when in reality I just had other things to do. Gotta work on that, feels bad!

Last but not least, a friend of mine, who also runs her own blog (tinacbeauty), trolled me 😦

Tina: RAY I GOT CHU SOMETHING
Me: Cool, what did you get me?
Tina: A Milk First Cereal Second Shirt
Me: …. not like this

Lol, I appreciate the gift ^_^ It was sort of/kind of random/out of the blue. Huh? Now of course we all know that we pour the cereal first and not the milk first and in reality I wouldn’t wear the shirt because I don’t want to get beat up, but I don’t want to be rude either so I’ll wear it eventually… when spring comes ^_^ And then when I get jumped, I’ll just blame her!

Okay that is all for now, my name is Ray and I will be sleep soon haha

-Ray, the one and only sunflower

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