Hey there, Ray here and welcome back to another post! I know I haven’t been posting much, which defeats the whole purpose of this blog 😦 Just feeling lazy and not motivated to do shit! Haha, if it sounds like an excuse, it’s because it is one! I promise* I’ll start posting more frequently*! I was thinking about trying to challenge myself to post daily, just to talk about the day and stuff but I feel like that would get repetitive and sad. And by talking about the day, I mean complaining about random shit. Trust me, my every day life isn’t that fun or entertaining, but I sure love to complain 🙂
Anyways, let’s talk about Thanksgiving. To be honest, I was suppose to make a Thanksgiving blog post but… you guessed it! I got to lazy. I was like, “you know what I already made a thanksgiving video, no point in making a post too.” Feels bad! Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving and got some sweet deals on Black Friday! As for me, well my Thanksgiving was okay I guess? I don’t want to sound too petty or complain too much about it. Compared to other people it was subpar, but I didn’t expect anything else. My family didn’t really celebrate that much. Then again, not really close with them so ehh. No turkey 😦 Thanksgiving without a turkey… Feels sad man. My close friends were all busy, so I couldn’t go hangout with them. They were both visiting family and chilling. Rip no friends to hang with and no family to chill with 😦 So basically I just locked myself in my room and played League all day. Every time I went on Instagram, I would see pictures of a group of Asian Girls having a Friendsgiving, which was pretty cool but kind of made me a bit sad too. Lol I guess it’s jealousy. They had each other and it kind of made me realize how lonely I was on Thanksgiving day. I also remembered eating instant ramen at midnight that day lel. Not sure if sad or..? Oh well. Also didn’t get anything on Black Friday. Jk. I got some hoodies, which was pretty cool. But what I really want that I’m not gonna get: A new computer lel ^_^!
Okay moving on to something that’s not as sad! Quick list of things I’m thankful for:
1. Friends and family, I don’t usually talk with my family members but I’m thankful for them none the less. Also to friends, I don’t tell them how thankful I am for them or show them I’m thankful at all. Like I don’t remember the last time I ever told anyone, hey thanks for being my friend, I appreciate that a lot! Sometimes I don’t even treat my friends nicely. Heck, I don’t even say hi to the majority of them when I walk past them in the hallway. In fact I make fun of a lot of my friends. That’s just the way affection, by making fun of them. I know, the counter logic is real. To me, my friends are my real family, since my real family will never understand me (but then again I don’t make the effort to make them understand). Thanks fam! Sad that I’ll never see them again in about 1.5 years 😦
2. League of Legends, as much as I hate this game, it really fun to play with friends! It’s also a great way to kill time haha
3. Being alive, ironic but I’m glad I’m still here. As much as I keep saying I want to kill myself, I’m glad I haven’t (yet). Sometimes I really do feel like jumping off a bridge or drinking some bleach or something extreme but then again it would cause too much drama. I really don’t need that in my life. I don’t know why but sometimes I feel sad for no reason. I don’t know why I’m sad, I just am. Sometimes I feel like asking people for help but then I realize huh how they hell are they suppose to help me when I can’t even help myself? Like if a person messaged you: Hey I’m depressed af and want to kms, exactly how are you suppose to respond? I mean, I wouldn’t know. So I just end up being sad by myself. No need to make other people worried about me ^_^ Feels sad man. (Don’t mind me, I’m not important yo).
Ok moving on… I don’t understand how I always get into sad topics geez. Trying to lighten up the mood not dim it. Umm… what next hmmm. I’m sorry it’s 11:53 rn and this is fairly unorganized but I wanted to get this done.
For the rest of the Thanksgiving Break, like I said I just played League of Legends. I spammed Ranked on my second account and decided to try hard during the preseason. I got from Silver I to Gold III, which was pretty cool. Been try harding a lot recently, spamming a lot of Riven. Solo Q is still pretty cancerous sometimes. People do some pretty suspect things. Sometimes people are just plain bad. Other times they are too toxic and flame each other for every single mistake. And worst of all, are those who refuse to communicate with the team. Playing too much Solo Q can damage the brain lol. I wonder if these people are actually that toxic in real life. I know League of Legends makes me a lot more toxic than I really am. However, whenever I play Solo Q, I don’t talk in chat much. It helps me not flame my teammates and stuff.
Just earlier this night I was doing all of the homework I had over the break. Some math test corrections and some stupid APUSH homework. You know what I really hate, understanding everything and knowing how to do everything after taking the test… Like holy shit I hate myself. I fucking failed my math test because I’m stupid as fuck but once I got it back I felt like slapping myself across the face for making stupid mistakes for stuff that I KNOW HOW TO DO except I apparently didn’t know how to do on the test. Sometimes I wonder why I’m so stupid. All of my friends are so smart and then there’s me, a stupid kid. Feels bad.
I really dislike my APUSH teacher a lot. I think I said this before, but she doesn’t teach for shit and it really isn’t helpful. She gave me an assignment in which I had to compare the Mexican American war with the Iraq war and I had to find all these SPECIFIC things and she gave us some links except none of them work. -SIGH- Look here, if you’re going to used a 2 year old recycled assignment, please check the link!!! Trying to find all this information is so extra geez. It’s not even relevant to the things we’re learning right now. We’re still on like post American Revolution and slavery. Calm down geez. I just wish that she’d actually teach us things.
Oh and last but not least, I want some Bonchon Chicken yo! I went last Wednesday and damn, Bonchon Chicken is soooooooooo goooooooood! The skin is soooooooo crunchy like damn! It’s 12:06 am rn and I am hungry af. Gimme some fried chicken please. Kimchi Coleslaw on the other hand isn’t my thing. Spicy and kind of sour cabbage 😦
Okay, tomorrow is school again. Gotta pretend like everything is okay haha! Jk. Everything is okay… for the most part I guess. Sometimes I wonder if the way people act at school is how they act when they’re by themselves and alone. ^_^ I’m weird, I know. I should probably go to sleep now so I can wake up tomorrow on time and now hate myself. Haha, but I already hate myself anyways ^_^!
Alright off to bed I go. Have a nice day/night fam! And remember, something something something. Positive vibes~
Actually, make sure to go to sleep before 1 am guys! Pro Tip! Also make sure to have lots of friends so that you can always keep yourself company and not be lonely!