I hate writing. I really do. Writing is really hard, especially English essays. I have this problem where I don’t know how to say the things I want to say. Like I have an idea, but I have no idea how to convert that idea into words (not knowing how to convert thoughts into words is the main problem of my entire life). I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Most of the time I just bs my essays and make them sound as good as possible. I have literally zero passion for the essays I wrote so far. I just do it for the grade. Which is kind of sad, I guess. I wonder how my teachers could be so passionate about said topics like insiders and outsiders, while I’m just like why? Why do I have to do this? What’s the point? Why does it matter at all? Like how does this affect me as a person?
Sometimes I start to write things and then I don’t know how to expand on it. Sometimes it starts out as a great idea but the more I write about it the more I don’t know how to get the message across. The more I write about it the more I dislike it. The more I write about it the more I feel like someone’s going to judge me for the shit I say.
Basically right now I have to write this stupid essay about insiders/outsiders and either you must be an insider to succeed and if you succeed does that make you an insider. Now personally I really don’t care about this topic at all but unfortunately I can’t reflect that in my essay. I have to pretend that I actually give a damn just so I can get that A.
Just a realization of how much I hate BSing things even though I have to.
Sucks to suck.